A Cord Cutting Ceremony – Reclaiming My Power
Today, I held a ceremony to cut cords from my parents, a ritual of release that signified more than just severing ties—it marked the reclaiming of my power, my peace, and my purpose. It was the culmination of a journey that’s been paved with moments of love, pain, misunderstanding, and control.
Cord cutting is not an act of anger or revenge, nor is it a means to erase the past. Instead, it’s a declaration of freedom and an invitation for healing, not just for myself, but for everyone involved. For so long, I found myself entangled in the expectations, criticisms, and demands placed upon me. The weight of their disapproval and the endless cycle of unmet expectations felt like chains wrapped tightly around my soul, suffocating the authentic self yearning to break free.
The Ritual of Reclamation
As the ceremony began, I incorporated Hapé, sage, and crystals, each representing a different element of my healing. I used sage to cleanse the space, allowing the smoke to purify the lingering energies of old pain and outdated narratives. I took a moment to sit with crystals chosen for their grounding and healing properties, holding them close as a reminder of my strength and resilience.
For this ceremony, I chose to work with Hapé, a sacred plant medicine traditionally used by various indigenous cultures in South America. The ritual of Hapé involves administering a fine powdered blend of medicinal herbs and tobacco through the nose using a small pipe called a kuripe. Hapé is not simply a physical experience; it’s a spiritual one, deeply rooted in grounding and opening pathways for clarity and healing.
As I sat in meditation, I carefully prepared the Hapé, respecting its sacredness and the tradition it carries. With each inhalation, the experience was immediate and intense, like a nuclear bomb inside the hemispheres of my brain. A good Hapé for me personally is when it knocks you out like that; it might be too much for others. The sensation was powerful, almost overwhelming, as it penetrated the core of my being. This intensity was not one of pain, but of deep awakening—a sudden and explosive clearing that left no room for old illusions or internal barriers.
Hapé forces you to confront what lies within, to face your own truths without hesitation. As it surged through me, I felt every unresolved emotion, every suppressed thought rise to the surface, demanding to be acknowledged and released. It was a moment of surrender and trust, as the medicine guided me to confront and let go of what no longer served me.
The Release to Earth
Once the cords dissolved, I took what remained—the emotional residue, the fragments of old stories—and offered them back to the earth. I released them with gratitude, trusting that the earth would transmute them into something new. It was an acknowledgment that while the past has shaped me, it does not define me. It was an act of trust in my own ability to heal and in the earth’s power to renew.
The Pain of Grieving
Despite the freedom and clarity gained through this ritual, the loss is something I grieve heavily. It’s a pain no one should have to endure—saying goodbye to what was once a part of you, and releasing the attachment to people you still care for deeply. Letting go isn’t a simple act of forgetting; it’s a conscious choice to honor the truth of what can no longer be, while embracing the space to heal and move forward.
The Release of Old Narratives
In the process of cutting these cords, I released old narratives that no longer served me: the story of a dutiful child constantly seeking approval, the narrative of a doll meant to validate someone else's idea of worth, and the fiction that my worth could only be measured by their standards. I saw these stories for what they were—constructs, relics of a past that had imprisoned both them and me.
As I let go, a new narrative began to form: one of sovereignty and self-acceptance. I embraced the truth that my journey is mine to forge, and my worth does not hinge on being a good son or daughter, but on being an authentic being.
Embracing the Unknown
The ceremony wasn’t just about ending relationships; it was about creating new ones, with myself, with my truth, and with those who choose to walk beside me on this journey. It’s about embracing the unknown and trusting that where there’s authenticity, there’s a path forward. Letting go of my parents' approval isn’t a rejection of them—it’s an affirmation of me.
And so, as the cords dissolved and the ceremony ended, I stood in the quiet aftermath, feeling the echo of old pain slowly fading, making room for something new: peace, strength, and hope.
Finding Peace in Letting Go
Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or abandoning. It means releasing the control that others’ narratives held over me, allowing me to write my own story. It’s an acknowledgment of all the love and hurt that came from these bonds, and an act of self-compassion to allow myself to move on.
If there’s one message I want to leave with this, it’s this: cutting cords is not an act of hatred; it’s an act of self-love. It’s about freeing both parties from an unhealthy dynamic and allowing each of us to find our own healing, in our own time and space.
Today, I honor my past by releasing it. I honor my parents by freeing them from my expectations and liberating myself from theirs. And most importantly, I honor myself by stepping into the future unburdened and ready to embrace whatever comes next.
With love and light,
By:Regina Heels